The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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