I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
