He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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