I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
