Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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