ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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