i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
