What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
