Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
