how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
