In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
