Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
