Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
