So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
