Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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