thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week