how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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