Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
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It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
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I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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