she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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