I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
