Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
