At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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