Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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