Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i was born a porn star she said
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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