Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
