I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
