Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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