I am in a vortex of obligation.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
