well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
