Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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