his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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