I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...