I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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