he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
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Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
I'm getting married
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot