He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT