Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha