I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
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My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
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im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.