Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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