Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
