bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
