I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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