Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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