he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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