There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
