Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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