Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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