How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
