At least make sure they are 18
Why
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
