And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize