I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
