what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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