i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
