I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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