dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
