love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
