trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
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she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
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Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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