it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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