I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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