clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
