I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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