You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
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I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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