She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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