Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Dignity is for republicans.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
