if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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