WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Even my vagina gasped.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
