I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
