I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
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nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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